


Juno's Surprise

by lionessvalenti



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Community: fandom_stocking, Gen, Gen Fic, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 23:17:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/313262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve touches <em>one statue</em> and end up with an impossibility. But this is the Warehouse. Everything is possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Juno's Surprise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tryslora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tryslora/gifts).



Steve was halfway down the stairs when another wave nausea hit him. The smell of breakfast made his stomach churn. He thought this was over. It had been a couple of days since he'd been sick, but there it was again.

"Whoa, Jinksy, you look terrible," Claudia said from the foot of the stairs. She walked up to meet him and leaned against the handrail. "Are you okay?"

He shook his head, but stopped as the room began to spin. "Not even close. I think I should go back to bed with a trash can clutched to my chest."

She reached up and pressed the back of her hand to his forehead like he was a little kid. "You feel kind of warm. You think this is regular sick or artifact-y sick?"

"How am I supposed to know the difference?" he asked. He looked up at her face. Yesterday the lock of hair on the right side had been bright green, and today is was bleached blonde. He wondered how long that would last before she changed it again. He hadn't noticed a pattern just yet.

Claudia shook her head. "Sometimes you just know. You want to call the Warehouse doctor?"

Steve raised an eyebrow. "There's a Warehouse doctor?"

"You think a regular doctor would believe that Artie's appendix grows back every year?"

"You got me," he replied. He rested his hand on his stomach and groaned. "Maybe you should give this doctor a call. It might just be the flu, but if I'm growing a second appendix I might as well have someone prepared to deal with that."

"I'll give her a call," Claudia said. "You go back to bed, Steve. You do look kind of awful."

He was about to protest, or give her a sarcastic remark, but he caught another whiff of bacon and had to fight to keep from throwing up right there on the stairs. "Thanks," he said, and started back up to his room.

\---

Steve had to admit he felt a lot better by the time Dr. Vanessa showed up in the early afternoon.

"This might be a waste of your time," he said, sitting up in bed. "I haven't felt like throwing up for a couple hours now."

"Well, I'm here, so it's only a waste of time if I turn around and leave," she replied with a kind smile. "Would you mind a check-up? Maybe a couple of tests?"

He raised his hands and shrugged. "Since you're here."

She sat down on the edge of the bed. "How long have you been feeling lousy?"

"A week or so?" he guessed. "I've gotten sick a few times, mostly in the morning and a couple times at night, but I've been making it through the day. I haven't been eating great. The smell of food, even the _thought_ of food is making me queasy."

Dr. Vanessa nodded. "Are you getting enough sleep? I know you haven't been here long, is the work too much?"

Steve shook his head. "It's not too much. It's good, actually. I like the work. And I sleep fine, but lately I have been pretty exhausted, no matter how much sleep I get."

"This might sound like a stupid one, but have you handled any artifacts lately? Anything that might have touched your skin without you realizing it?"

"No, no that... oh, wait, uh, Claudia and I were putting something up in the Ancient Archives and a statue started to fall from the shelf. I put my hand up to keep it on the shelf and I wasn't wearing purple gloves. It was a reflex. I didn't even think about it."

"It happens," Dr. Vanessa replied. "Which statue was it?"

"I don't remember. Claudia would know."

"I'll ask her." She reached into her bag and retrieved a small plastic cup. "Now, how do you feel about peeing in a cup?"

Steve chuckled and took the cup from her. "It's my favorite."

After the cup was filled and Dr. Vanessa had taken a few vials of blood, she headed out. She told him she'd be back in a couple of hours after she got the results. In the meantime, Steve curled up with his blankets and went back to sleep. He wasn't exactly tired, but he thought he'd take the opportunity while he could.

He only woke to the sound of someone knocking on his door. "Yeah, come in," he groaned. Somehow, his nap made him feel worse. He reached around for the glass of water on his night stand.

The door opened and Dr. Vanessa walked in, her face somber.

With the glass halfway to his mouth, Steve blinked at her. "Am I dying?"

"No," she said, the corners of her lips turning up for a smile. She sat down on the corner of the bed and took a deep breath. "I ran every test twice, so I say this with full certainty." She took a slow breath and said, "Steve, you're... well, you're pregnant."

Steve blinked again and then he laughed. "You're joking, right?"

"I'm not. I wouldn't about this. I talked to Claudia about the artifact you touched, the one you mentioned? She went down to the Ancient Archives and looked. She says it was a statue of Juno Sospita, which explains it. Anyone who touches the statue becomes pregnant."

"But I'm a man!"

"I know," she said sympathetically. "It seems that's unimportant to the artifact."

"How is that even possible? I'm not -- I'm not biologically equipped for that! There's not a -- a place for a--" _baby_. The word choked in his throat, so he just motioned emphatically to his abdomen.

She nodded. "I'd like to run a few more tests, Steve. There's some equipment in the Warehouse we could use to determine the specifics. I've seen a few cases of male pregnancy before. Typically the child grows in an already existing organ."

He nodded, rubbing his hands over his face. "What do I do? What are the options?"

"Well, if you'd like, we can take care of this now. Once we figure out the specifics, I can remove anything foreign from your body that you don't want there. I can do this, under my best guess, in the next two weeks. Option two would be carrying the child to term."

Steve dropped his hands in his lap and drew a slow breath. "That's possible?"

Dr. Vanessa nodded. "In about half the cases I've seen, healthy children are born."

He swallowed, feeling far queasier than any time he had this week. "I can think about it, right?"

"Of course you can. This isn't an easy decision to make. Take your time, and you can come to me with any questions you have. And we can run those tests at the Warehouse as soon as you'd like."

"Soon," he said. "I just need a day or two."

"Take your time," Dr. Vanessa said. She patted his hand. "It's going to be okay."

\---

Steve holed up in his room for the rest of the day. He slept on and off, but mostly he tried to wrap his mind around what was happening to him.

"Hey, you up?"

Steve raised his head. There was no longer any light streaming through his windows, and the room was dark, except for a sliver of light coming from the open door. He reached up for his bedside lamp and switched it on. Claudia's head was poked into his room.

"Yeah, come on in," he replied. He sat up in bed and adjusted the blankets, like Claudia would actually care if his bed looked like he'd made it. She knew he'd been sleeping all day.

"How're you holding up?" Claudia asked. She slipped into the room and sat down on the bed.

"Does everyone know?" Steve asked.

She nodded. "We had to look into the statue. The history of it. We knew that it got people pregnant, there's even a note to not let female agents touch the statue, even with purple gloves. Turns out the power of Juno is a little stronger than we thought. Lots of infertile women prayed to her with their hands on the statue. Enough of those and... artifact stuff happens. It's not weird."

"Except for the part where it's weird."

Claudia snorted a laugh. "Weird is relative in the Warehouse. You know everyone is sympathetic."

"And glad it's not them?" Steve asked. "Who's more relieved it isn't them, Pete or Myka?"

"It's a toss-up." She shifted so her body slumped against his. "I'm sorry about this. You were keeping the statue from falling on my head."

Steve wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I'd do it again, even if I knew what would happen. But Dr. Vanessa said that she could take care of it, if that's what I wanted to do."

" _Is_ that what you want to do?" Claudia asked.

He brought his shoulders up as far as he could. "I don't know. It seems like the easiest way. This isn't a natural thing by any stretch of the imagination, and she also said that only half of the pregnancies result in healthy babies. Why risk going through that? I mean, what do you think?"

"Hey, you know me." She pointed to her chest with both thumbs. "Feminist, remember? Your body, your choice. Whatever you decide to do, I'm with you."

"I know that," Steve replied. He sighed and scratched his forehead. If he was going to weigh all the options, he might as well share them with Claudia. "On the other hand, this could be the only way I have kids. I'm not ready for that now, maybe in eight or ten years... and definitely didn't think I'd be doing it alone."

Claudia nodded. "You know, if you have the baby, you don't have to keep it. I grew up in a lot of foster homes and some of those people were cool, and wanted to adopt."

He hadn't considered that. It was something to think about. "I wish I could just jump to that. I don't want to be pregnant, but at the same time..." He placed his hand over his stomach. "This really could be my only chance to have a biological kid. Do I really want to give him away?"

"Him, huh?"

"Or her." Steve grinned. "Either way, this baby's playing baseball."

Claudia smiled. "I think you might have just made your decision."

Steve thought about his words, and looked down at his stomach. It didn't look any different, not yet, but it would. Calm settled over him as he touched it again. "I guess so."

"And you're a dum-dum if you think you're going to be doing it alone. I'm not experts on babies, but I know I want to help you, Jinksy. And I bet everyone else will want to, too." She poked him in the side and he started laughing.

"Thank you," Steve said, squeezing his arm around her shoulders. "That means a lot."

Claudia grinned. "What are best friends for?"


End file.
